Jester Minute

In a surprise move a group of MPs – also ones opposed to leaving the European Union – have presented a case to the Royal and Ancient High Court of Lindisfarne to amend the calendar through a decree that October can no longer have 31 days.


A move that will end the existence the 31st of October in perpetuity – and to compensate will add an extra day to November.

The members involved stated that this was a long disputed issue that seriously disadvantages millions of British people no longer able to remember the rhyme about the number of days in each month. This was now seriously impacting the mental health of the nation and was costing the NHS millions. They are, therefore, demanding that the speaker of the house makes an order for the immediate acceptance of their Calendar Correction Bill – as soon as the court issue their verdict. This is expected by Wednesday at the latest.

These same members also stated that this urgent action is totally unrelated to any other matters that parliament is currently considering or in any way linked to blocking the UK from leaving the EU. To quote Our only interest being protecting the well being of the nation.

Update: Today the Lord Provost of the Lindisfarne Court announced that the case had been rejected and gave a summary of the grounds for its rejection. These were that the plaintiffs did not attend the court in person as required, that no victims of the supposed injustice were presented and that the High Court’s jurisdiction on such issues had been terminated by Act of Parliament in 1648.

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